Kathryn Janeway's Past
by kikistrain
Summary: When Kathryn Janeway was a teenager, something horrible happened, but something beautiful came out of it. My first Voyager fanfic


"Ensign?" Professor Parker called, "Ensign Janeway?"

Ensign Kathryn Janeway was sitting holding her head in class learning about quantum cosmology. A wave of nausea passed over her but it quickly subsided. She regained her composure before a second wave of nausea assaulted her.

"Ensign, are you paying attention?"

"Yes sir," Janeway answered.

Kathryn tried to focus her attention but her stomach continued to do somersaults. She raised her hand to get Professor Parker's attention.

"Yes ensign?"

"Sir, could I get permission to go to sickbay?"

"Are you ill?"

"Yes sir," Kathryn said as she swallowed a wave of vomit.

"Permission granted."

"Thank-you sir," she whispered as she stood and walked towards the door.

Just before the doors opened she stopped, stood still as the room around her began to spin. Her eyes rolled back into her head, "Ensign? Ensign Janeway?" the professor asked. Kathryn rolled her eyes back again and felt herself falling to the floor. Everyone in the room instantly stood up and moved towards Kathryn Janeway who lay motionless on the floor. They formed a circle hovering over her. Admiral Parker and a young ensign were on their knees trying to wake Kathryn. "Stand back, let her have some room!" Ensign Kallinski ordered as he motioned everyone back, "Kathryn? Kathryn, wake up. Can you hear me Kathryn?" They continued to gently shake her, but they heard a small gurgling sound. Kathryn's neck arched and her mouth opened and coughed and gurgled however her eyes remained closed. "She's trying to vomit. Hurry; place her in the recover position before she chokes!"

They gently rolled Kathryn onto her side. Her mouth opened and she coughed out the vomit and then she remained motionless. "I'll get something to clean that up Sir," Cadet Hunter volunteered.

"Thank you cadet. Parker to medical . . . medical emergency, beam Ensign Janeway and myself directly to the emergency room." Admiral Parker gathered an unconscious Kathryn Janeway in his arms and stood. Her small limp body hung in his arms.

"Acknowledged Admiral."

Seconds later Kathryn was beamed to medical headquarters in the centre of the Starfleet academy headquarters.

"Admiral, what happened?" Doctor Mellings asked as Parker placed Janeway on a stretcher. They began to wheel her through the sterile corridors.

"She fainted while on her way out of my class, I don't know why but," he paused.

"But what?"

"As a matter of fact she was on her way here before she collapsed, she complained of felling unwell." They pulled to a stop outside an examination room.

"I see, I'll alert Admiral Janeway and notify him that his daughter collapsed."

"Thank-you, I should get back to my class, keep me informed on her condition." As he said this a nurse came and gently wheeled Kathryn into the room. Mellings entered the room.

"Aye sir!" Doctor Mellings called back as he pulled out his tricorder and began to examine Kathryn while Admiral Parker exited through the double doors.

"All right everyone quieten down . . . now today we are going to continue yesterday's lesson on the differences between a J-class nebula and a K-class nebula. If you would all go to page one thirty two of your padds."

Admiral Janeway was teaching a group of eighteen year old first year cadets. The cadets clicked on their padds and began sifting through the pages until they reached page one hundred and thirty-two.

"Everyone there? . . . Right, let's begin."

Before Edward Janeway continued he scanned the group of eager young students and thought that if he had taught this class last year to that year's cadets he would have been teaching his eldest daughter who walked in his footsteps.

His seventeen year old daughter was now a second year student at Starfleet academy. She had started the academy two years earlier at sixteen rather than the usual eighteen years of age at but he was confident she would succeed in great things and be the greatest captain in Starfleet history . . . 'even better then Kirk' he thought.

"Sir." Ensign Cowen asked as she entered the lecture room

"Yes Ensign?" Edward Janeway answered the third year student who disrupted his line of thought.

"I apologize for interrupting your class but a Doctor Mellings is calling you from Starfleet medical . . . he says its urgent sir."

"Thank you Ensign . . . tell them to route the call to console beta gamma 4

"Yes sir," Cowen turned and exited. The screen came to life and an image of Doctor Mellings appeared with a sombre looking face on.

"John how can I help you?" Edward exclaimed.

"Admiral Janeway, I hope I am not disturbing you."

"Not at all. Ensign Cowen said it was urgent."

"Admiral, I'm afraid your daughter Kathryn was brought into Starfleet medical a few minutes ago; she collapsed during Admiral Parker's quantum cosmology class. Mike brought her straight here."

"Kathryn? Is she ok?" he whispered.

"She's ok but there is something I-"

"I'll be right there John! See you in a minute," Edward interrupted as he cut the 2omm. link. He spun around and looked at his class who were busying themselves reading the material. "I'm afraid there has been a slight change of plans which I'm sure you won't object to." The class gave out a small chuckle.

"I have a family emergency that needs tending to. As you probably heard my daughter is in hospital unexpectedly after collapsing-"

"Sir? Is Ensign Janeway alright?" Cadet Harte asked.

"Yes Harte, they believe she will be fine but I have to go to see her now and I'll get Admiral McGregor to cover you for this period and perhaps the next if the situation calls for my absence." He paused, "So no homework for tonight anyway! But your work is to complete questions one through ten. If you don't get them down today we'll continue them tomorrow!"

A chorus of 'thank-you's swamped him as he approached the door. When the doors closed behind him he tapped his commbadge, "Janeway to McGregor."

"Yes Edward, McGregor here."

"Amy . . . are you free?"

"Yes! What can I do for you?"

"Could you cover my class with the first year cadets in science block B room five one?"

"Sure . . . is there a problem?" she asked concerned.

"Yea . . . Kathryn is in the hospital!" he coughed.

"Oh god I am so sorry . . . give her my best when you see her . . . and don't worry about your class, I'll take care of them. How long will you gone?"

"I'm not really sure; I'll contact you if I'll be gone for the second period. The cadets know what work to do. I owe you one Amy!"

"Just look after that wee girl of yours! McGregor out!"

Edward quickly walked through the doors of Starfleet medical.

"Excuse me . . . but could you tell me where Ensign Kathryn Janeway is being seen to?" he asked the female nurse at the desk nearest to him.

"Yes sir, Ensign Janeway is on the second level in room two-twenty one."

"Thank-you very much."

"You're welcome sir."

Edward got into the nearest turbolift to the second level and meticulously looked at every door number for the one that held his eldest daughter. Finally he found room two-twenty one. He pushed open the door and saw his daughter looking pale and sleeping on a bed.

"Admiral Janeway?"

"Yes . . . oh John, how is she?"

"Kathryn is going to be fine . . . but there is something that I would like to talk to you and Gretchen about . . . it concerns the wellbeing of Kathryn Edward."

"I'll call Gretchen now."

"No need, I already called her and she's on her way."

"John I don't understand, you said she is going to be fine."

"And she is, there's just something we need to talk about," he whispered.

A few minutes later John Mellings, Edward and Gretchen Janeway were sitting in the doctor's office adjacent to Kathryn's room. Edward and Gretchen were anxious to know why their daughter collapsed during her class.

"John, please tell us why Kathryn fainted," Gretchen whispered.

"When I examined Kathryn I found evidence of injuries that Kathryn had sustained but which were not tended to by myself or any doctor I have spoken to. These injuries aren't life threatening but I also found something that I think you have the right to know," he trailed off.

"John?" Edward asked sitting forward.

"Ed, Gretchen, I'm afraid Kathryn is pregnant."

The room was silent and there was no expression on either Edward or Gretchen Janeway's faces. Beeps of monitors taking Kathryn's vital statistics could be heard.

"I should also mention, that the injuries I told you about . . . this may sound gruesome but she suffered vaginal tearing, bruised arms and bruised legs which are weeks old-"

"No!" Gretchen cried, "No, not Kathryn . . . not our little Golden bird."

"I'm sorry Gretchen but it appears . . . this is hard for me to say because I've known Kathryn since she was born and even harder for you to hear and to accept but it appears that . . . Kathryn was raped."

Edward at this point stood up approached the window that overlooked Kathryn's room. He stood standing there shaking his head with his hand covering his mouth. Gretchen sat still trying to digest all that John Mellings had told them. 'Kathryn was raped.' Those three words echoed in her mind until another word invaded the darkness, 'pregnant'. Her daughter was raped and ended up pregnant with her rapist's child.

"How could this happen?" Edward croaked. "How could she be raped . . . and in this day and age? Doesn't she have her boosters for god sake?"

"No," Gretchen whispered.

"And why the hell not!"

"Edward, Kathryn was still a virgin; she would have come to John to get her boosters done. Her school work came first to her, not sex . . . I'm having a hard time accepting this but we can't blame Katie for this," Gretchen cried, "she needs us now."

"I know," he sighed, "but I just can't accept that Kathryn my little girl was raped. I know I've never tried to protect her from life but I never thought I would have to have protected her from something like this . . . the world is supposed to be safe now . . . and this is what happens." Edward remained silent for several minutes, "We have to abort the child . . . for Kathryn's sake."

Gretchen and John stared at Edward who was still looking at his daughter.

"Excuse me Edward?" John asked.

"We have to destroy the child." He whispered.

"We can't, we don't have the right," Gretchen interrupted.

"We are her parents, _she_ is our daughter . . . we have the right to make decisions for the benefit of our children. Don't you see that Gretchen?"

"I do . . . but Kathryn is seventeen years old . . . she can make decisions for herself."

"She didn't decide she wanted to be raped nor did she decide to get pregnant!"

"That's not what I meant Edward . . . I meant that Kathryn has the right to decide whether or not she wants to keep the child or abort it. After all, the baby is a part of her. We need to let Kathryn decide what she wants to do next. I will support her regardless of what she decides . . . but will you?"

Edward stared into his wife's eyes and back to Kathryn. He saw her chest rising and falling. Edward recalled all the nights he looked in on his sleeping daughter when she was young; how content she was. He always at beside her on the bed and listened to her breathe and he looked at her beautiful auburn hair. Then he thought of the child housed inside his daughter.

"All right," he whispered, "We'll let Kathryn decide."

"Would you like to speak to her?" John asked as he stood.

Gretchen looked at Edward who nodded.

The three adults walked into the next room. Dr. Mellings pulled out a hypospray and filled it with a compound that would wake Kathryn up. He injected the substance and Kathryn's eyes began to flutter in her eyelids. Slowly her eyes opened. At first Kathryn squinted at the bright lights of the room but her eyes quickly adjusted.

"Mom? Dad? Why am I here?"

"You collapsed during Admiral Parker's class honey," Gretchen whispered as Kathryn continued to look around her.

"Why?" she noticed that her father refused to look at her, "Daddy? Am I going to be ok? What's wrong?"

"John . . . tell her," Edward whispered.

"Kathryn . . . you're pregnant."

Kathryn's eyes looked down in shame while looking at her mother out of the corner of her eyes, "You know then," she coughed, "you know what happened."

"Yes honey," Gretchen nodded.

Tears fell from Kathryn's eyes.

"Oh baby, come here," Gretchen sobbed as she took a sobbing Kathryn into her arms. "John could you excuse us please?" Edward asked.

"Of course, I have another patient to tend to, call me if you need me."

Kathryn continued to cry in her mother's arms while Edward began to pace up and down the room.

"I didn't mean to . . . I didn't mean for this to happen . . . he came out of nowhere!" Kathryn cried, "I tried to fight him off . . . but he was too strong!"

"Shh sweetheart I know, I know," Gretchen whispered as she stroked her daughters auburn hair trying to settle the distressed teenager. When Kathryn began to calm herself several minutes later, her mother continued to soothe her.

"How could you do this you stupid girl?"

"What?" Kathryn coughed.

"How could you do this?"

"Edward?"

"No Gretchen! Kathryn, look at me! Look at me!" Kathryn slowly looked at her father. Edward was taken aback at what he saw in his daughter's eyes . . . fear. He had taught Kathryn to see the world with a scientist's eye but what she went through made her more reserved and now he only saw a mere shell of his daughter. "Kathryn . . . oh honey," he said as he moved to sit beside Kathryn, "Come here sweetie." Edward held out his arms and Kathryn immediately fell into them crying.

"I didn't mean to daddy!" she sobbed.

"I know . . . I'm sorry I reacted that way Golden bird . . . I'm . . . we're just having a hard time accepting this."

"I would have . . . had my boosters but . . . I hadn't been with anybody . . . and he took something special away from me . . . I wanted to wait until . . . I found the right man . . . I don't trust anyone anymore except you." Edward held his daughter close to him. He could only imagine the fear that ran through her veins anytime a boy smiled at her of went to hug her.

"I'm here Katie; I'll always be here for you." The three Janeway's sat and listened to Kathryn cry. Gretchen rubbed her hand up and down Kathryn's back and stroked her hair while Edward held Kathryn tightly not wanting to let her go. Kathryn clung to her father not wanting to let go of the warmth her father was showing her.

When Kathryn's breathing became ragged and her tears slowed, Kathryn pulled away from her father. "I don't know what to do now."

"That's up to you sweetie," Gretchen said as she pushed Kathryn's hair behind her ear. Kathryn looked alternatively between her mother and father. "What do you mean?"

"We mean . . . Kathryn, we are leaving it up to you whether or not to keep the baby . . . I and your mother both know that you are against abortion . . . and we will support you no matter choice you choose."

"We will help you raise the baby after it's born if you choose to keep it," Gretchen continued. Kathryn held her mother's hand tightly. She looked down at herself and thought about how she could carry on.

"Even though I was raped . . . the baby is innocent . . . so will you still accept me if I keep it? I mean will I not bring shame to the family for having it out of wed-lock?"

"Of course not Kathryn, we love you and you are our little girl and this is our grandchild . . . no shame will be brought to us . . . so you can have the baby and we will help you raise him or her," Edward said as he affectionately looked at Kathryn.

"You mean it?"

"Of course," her parents said in unison.

"So I can keep the baby?"

"Whatever you want to do, we'll support you," Gretchen said.

Kathryn hugged her mother and whispered thank-you in her ear. She then turned to her father and hugged him too and whispered 'thank-you' in his ear. She abruptly withdrew from his embrace.

"Wait . . . what about school? The academy?"

"Don't worry. I'll make a few calls and sort out something. When you have the baby, I'll see to it that your professors send you the lessons so you can keep up and I'll make a link so that you can send your homework's and essays back. So when you are back after having the baby, you are not behind in anything and your finals next June will not suffer. How does that sound?"

"Daddy that's wonderful!" Kathryn exclaimed as she threw her arms around Edward's neck and kissed him on the cheek. "I love you daddy!"

"Everything will be alright Golden Bird," he whispered in her ear as he swivelled from side to side holding Kathryn.

"Shouldn't be getting back to your class daddy?"

"I've got Amy McGregor to cover my class so I don't have to."

"Daddy, I don't want to keep you away from your class. Sure mom can take care of me here and we can take care of everything. I'll be fine dad. Go," she said silently.

Edward looked to Gretchen to seek the proper answer, "Kathryn's right Ed, we can take care of everything, and you should go back to those young eager cadets. After all those who aren't taught by Edward Janeway are doomed to fail!" she laughed.

"Ok I'll go and teach my eager cadets but I want my Golden Bird not to fret about anything," he said as he cupped the side of Kathryn's face. "I love you sweetheart!"

"I love you daddy." Edward stood and walked out the door while Kathryn blew a kiss to him and he blew two back. But what he didn't know was that the two he blew back were for his daughter and grandchild.

Admiral McGregor sat at the desk at the front of the room and looked up at the hard-working cadets. They really know that material she thought. McGregor busied herself with her marking of the third year term papers on the difference between binary fusion and quantum particle fusion. The paper was worth ten percent of their grades and she was pleased with all the work they had put into their theories. _A kiss on the hand may be quite continental but diamonds are a girl's best friend_. These song lyrics slipped into her head and she continued_, a kiss may be grand but it won't be the rent on your humble flat or help you feed your pussy cat_.

Amy then looked at her watch and saw that it nearly approaching the end of the period. Edward must not be coming back and so he may be calling anytime soon she thought. Just then she heard the doors whoosh open, looking up she saw Admiral Janeway walking in.

"Admiral Janeway, glad to see you."

"Thank you Admiral McGregor for covering my class, I hope they behaved themselves."

"Yes, they busied themselves with their work and never made a sound. They were very well behaved. Thank you cadets for behaving so well and I shall you again during your lessons with me," she said facing the cadets who immediately looked up.

Edward ushered her out the door where she turned and asked, "Is Kathryn alright then Edward? I didn't expect you back so soon."

"Yea, everything is ok for now but I must remember to speak to Mike before I leave today. Kathryn is still in the hospital for now but Gretchen is with her. Kathryn is fine so don't worry Amy."

"Well, if there is anything I can do to help Edward; we are all here for you and Kathryn. Don't tell anyone but we all feel very protective of Kathryn and would not like to see anything happen to Starfleet's most promising second year cadet and the youngest!"

"Thanks, well I better be getting back to my class," he said as he turned and entered the room. Admiral McGregor walked back to her office and continued with her marking.

Kathryn was strolling through the grounds of Starfleet academy in San Francisco on a typical beautiful day. Some cadets sat on the grass and looked over various padds or compared notes with others. Boothby the groundskeeper was scolding a young ensign for accidentally walking over his prized flowers. The ensign apologized profusely but Boothby ushered him away from the flowers. Kathryn just had to smile at Boothby who had not changed a bit since she was an ensign in the academy all those years ago.

"Boothby," she called as she made her way towards him.

"Ensign Janeway . . . well young lady how are you today?"

"Tired but I've felt like that for months now," she laughed as she placed her hands on her abdomen which exhibited a large bump.

"I understand . . . how close to the due date is the baby?"

"Any day now."

"But shouldn't you be in bed not walking around Starfleet grounds?"

"Yes, but my Doctor gave me an hour to walk around campus before returning . . . so I have precisely 20 minutes to get back home. Don't worry Boothby, I'm fine."

"You're still the same Kathryn Janeway I knew when you walked through those doors with your father when you were nine; headstrong, ambitious and as I recall as stubborn as a mule," he commented as he looked towards the main building.

"Thank-you," she paused, "I think?"

Kathryn and Boothby continued to talk and walk through the campus until the stopped by a pond. Boothby and Kathryn stopped and looked at the pond with the lilies floating on the crystalline water. Boothby reached into his bag and presented Kathryn with a perfect pink rose.

"Oh," she smiled and smelled the heavenly aroma. "Thank-you Boothby, it's lovely.

Before Boothby could talk, Kathryn dropped the flower onto the wooden terrace. Kathryn was stunned and went to pick the flower back up.

"I'm so sorry Boothby," she said as she straightened back up.

"Don't worry about it dear."

They walked further around campus when all of a sudden Kathryn hissed in pain. She brought a hand to her abdomen but tried to hide the pain before Boothby noticed. Unfortunately he noticed.

"Ensign? Are you alright?"

"I'm fine," she sighed but a sharp pain came again.

"I've been on this campus for too long and I know a thing or two and I know when a captain is lying. You are not fine and I'm taking to the doctors at medical."

"No, it's nothing."

"Katie, I know that this is not fine and with the baby so close, perhaps he or she decided to come a little bit early?"

Just than another pain hit her, "Ok, I'm not going to argue with you Boothby and you know why? . . . cuz nobody can beat you in an argument not even Jean-Luc Picard."

"Now that's true," he laughed as he walked Kathryn to the nearest transport site.

"Admiral Janeway? I just received an emergency message from Starfleet medical saying that Ensign Janeway was there and that you should go there immediately and that your wife has already been informed."

"Thank you Hayley," Edward said as he rushed out the door knowing what was happening. Kathryn was in labour. "Cancel all my meetings and offer them my sincere apologies!"

Within minutes he was rushing through the doors of Starfleet medical looking for 'Birth and Delivery'. Edward saw Boothby standing outside a room and approached him.

"Boothby?"

"Admiral Janeway."

"Why are you are?" he asked kindly.

"I brought Ensign Janeway here, she was complaining of a pain in her abdomen so I brought her to medical. She's right in there," he said as he pointed to the door beside him.

"Edward, Gretchen," John Mellings said as he entered the room several hours later, "How are you doing Kathryn? Hanging in there?"

"Barely, these damned contractions hurt like hell."

"I'm going to need to speak to you guys privately away from Kathryn," he whispered as he motioned Kathryn's parents out the door.

"We'll be right back Kathryn, ok?" her mother kissed her forehead and left.

Edward closed the door so Kathryn couldn't hear what John was about to tell them, "It has been seven hours and the dilation is not increasing . . . so we have two options . . . either wait another hour and see what happens or . . . or if the dilation doesn't increase we will not option but to do a caesarean section."

Gretchen looked at her husband and then looked through the window at her daughter who was still lying on the hospital bed. "What do you think Edward?"

"Let's wait an hour and if nothing has improved you can do the c-section . . . but we have to tell Kathryn because it's not right to keep her in the dark about her child."

Kathryn was lying exhausted on the hospital bed wondering why the labour was taking so long. Suddenly she became scared that she wouldn't be able to raise the child and that she would fail the academy and would not be able to become an Admiral like her father. Gretchen and Edward came into the room and stood either side of her.

"Kathryn . . . there is something we need to discuss," Edward began.

"What?"

"John has told us something that concerns the baby," he continued.

"What? Is the baby ok? Is it going to be alright?"

"Kathryn, calm down honey. John said that you are not dilating even though you are in full swing labour. The baby is fine and is going to be but . . . John also said that if you don't continue to dilate within the next hour he will have to do a c-section." Gretchen said.

"A c-section?" Kathryn repeated in a quivering voice.

"That is only if you don't dilate," Edward reassured her.

"Okay I understand."

They spoke for the next hour and Kathryn, in her mind, coerced herself to make her cervix dilate because she feared having a caesarean section for she wanted the birth of her child to be as natural as possible. When the hour was up, John returned to the room and found that Kathryn had failed to dilate any further. He closed his tricorder.

"I'm sorry Kathryn but you are just not dilating, so I think if would be best for you and the baby that we perform a c-section. There is nothing to fear," he said as he look of discontent in her eyes, "If anything goes wrong and I'm sure it won't, I can have the baby out in sixty seconds. Kathryn I promise you I won't let anything happen to you or your baby."

"I know . . . let's get this over with then."

Her epidural was administered to her back and it took affect. When Kathryn couldn't feel her abdomen they wheeled her into the operating theatre. A screen was erected in front of Kathryn's head so she couldn't see what they were doing.

Gretchen and Edward were draped in surgical clothes otherwise they wouldn't have been allowed in. Gretchen sat beside Kathryn's head while Edward stood above Kathryn behind her head. A brown solution was rubbed on Kathryn's abdomen and they asked if they could feel their touch. Kathryn shook her head in response.

The surgeons began to cut into her abdomen and through the uterus wall. They warned Kathryn she may feel some pressure in her abdomen as they pulled to release the baby. Kathryn bit her lower lip as she felt the pressure of their tugging.

Within seconds the pressure was gone and John Mellings held up the baby who had its eyes closed and mouth open. A sharp cry escaped its mouth.

"It's a girl Kathryn!" John announced as he handed the baby to a nurse after a nurse cut the umbilical cord.

"Is she ok?" Kathryn called.

Several seconds passed before the nurse announced, "She's fine."

John and the surgeons worked to repair the incisions they made to free the newborn baby girl from Kathryn. Once everything was at it was before the surgery, Kathryn was wheeled back to a private room. Gretchen and Edward followed.

When they arrived at the room they found an incubator had already been brought in and that a balloon reading 'It's a Girl!' was hanging by her bedside. Gretchen settled into a chair beside Kathryn while Edward sat on the edge of the bed holding Kathryn's hand.

"You were so brave Golden bird . . . I'm so proud of you sweetheart," Edward commented as he kissed her cheek and brushed a stray auburn hair away from her face. Gretchen was smiling at her daughter who brought her granddaughter into the world.

"Thank-you daddy."

"Sorry to interrupt," a young nurse said, "but I believe someone here would like to see her mommy and say hi to everyone else."

Edward stood and approached the nurse. She handled the bundle wrapped in a pink blanket to Edward and politely excused herself. He slowly made his way back to his daughter.

"Hey Katie, here she is . . . here is your daughter," he whispered as he handed his baby granddaughter over to his daughter Kathryn. She reached out her arms to take her baby in her arms. Kathryn held her tightly to her chest and stared at the infant.

"She's beautiful," she whispered.

"Just like her mommy," Gretchen and Edward said in unison.

Kathryn smiled at her child as she saw her wiggle.

"What are you going to call her sweetie?" Gretchen asked as she stroked her granddaughter's cheek with her index finger.

"I haven't really given it much thought because I was trying to keep up with school. I did look at a few names but I'm not sure they would suit her."

"Let us hear them then," Edward asked as he sat back down again.

"Well erm, Avril . . . Emma . . . Evan . . . Kirsten and Lucie," she trailed off.

"I like Kirsten to be honest, what do you think Edward?"

"I like Lucie though but I think Kirsten Janeway has a nice ring to it, doesn't it?"

"Yeah, well to tell you the truth I always wanted to call her Kirsten so I could call her Kiki as a nickname. So Kirsten Janeway . . . and what about her middle name?" Kathryn questioned

Before anyone could answer Kathryn burst in with the answer, "Avril!"

"What?" they asked together.

"Avril! I remember hearing music in our common room on campus by a girl called Avril Lavigne and I loved her music. What do you think of Kirsten Avril . . . Kelly Janeway," she added.

"Kirsten Avril Kelly Janeway," Gretchen repeated.

"I believe we have our first grandchild Gretchen," Edward announced, "I think the name is perfect. Welcome to the Janeway family Kiki.

"I'll go and pick Phoebe up from school and bring her back here . . . so we can let her see her tiny niece," Edward said later, "Gretchen, will you stay here and look after the girls?"

"Of course . . . I don't think I could ever pull myself away from Kiki."

Phoebe was sitting in English class a play called 'The Importance of Being Earnest' by renowned Irish author Oscar Wilde. Fifteen year old Phoebe read line after line until the final bell that signaled the end of school. Everyone packed up their books and padds and headed out.

"Phoebe . . . hey Phoebe wait up!"

"Oh hey Mischa . . . what's up?"

"Nothing much . . . hey do we have any homework for history?"

"Yea but only to read pages one twenty to one twenty nine and make notes . . . nothing much. What are you doing over the weekend?" Phoebe asked.

"Nothing," Mischa sighed.

"Do you want to come to my house and stay the night . . . I'm sure mom and dad won't mind."

"I'd love to . . . I'll ask my parents if it's alright and I'll call you tonight, ok?"

"Great . . . oh hey there's my dad . . . huh, he never picks me up from school."

"Maybe he just wanted to pick you up today?" Mischa added before she left to get her transport home, "See you later Phoebs, I'm gonna be late for my transport . . . I'll call you tonight!" she yelled as she ran off.

"Bye!" Phoebe replied back. She walked up to her father, "Hey dad, what are you doing here?"

"I've come to pick you up obviously."

"Why? Where's mom?"

"Your mom is with Kathryn at the hospital in San Francisco."

Phoebe stared up at her father, "Why is Katie there?" then after a few seconds she began to comprehend, "She's having the baby?"

"Correction, _had_ the baby," he said as he ushered into the car to the transport site.

"She's had it already," she exclaimed, "when?"

"About half an hour ago."

They set off for the transport site.

"How was school today sweetheart?" Edward asked.

"Great . . . we read more of 'The Importance of Being Earnest' and we sang a beautiful song called 'Circle in the Sand' in choir. Hey dad . . . is it okay if Mischa comes down tomorrow for a sleep over after school?"

"That would be fine honey, but we better ask your mother because of the baby and all . . . but I don't see why not Mischa can't come down bumble bee. How is Mischa anyway?"

"Still as nutty as ever . . . but she's great."

They stepped onto the platform and within seconds they were walking through the doors of Starfleet medical to where Kathryn was lying with her baby girl sleeping beside her.

Phoebe followed her father up to the second floor of the left wing, but as they approached the room she sped up and briskly walked into the room. Kathryn was asleep on the bed and the baby was asleep in the incubator next to her. Gretchen was sitting in the big chair looking over the baby. She stood up when Phoebe entered the room. She placed a finger to her mouth telling her to be quiet and whispered, "Kathryn has just fallen asleep and she needs all the rest she can get."

Phoebe inched towards her sleeping sister and moved a stray lock of hair before moving to hug her mother.

"Hey mom . . . how is she?"

"She's tired obviously but on top of that I think she is happy," she whispered as she nodded toward the sleeping tot.

"Is this the baby?" she asked excitedly.

"Yes honey . . . that's you niece."

"My niece? Wow . . . I'm an aunt at fifteen. What's her name?"

"Kiki," Edward answered as he joined his youngest daughter, "Kiki Avril Kelly Janeway. What do you think of her name honey?"

"Kiki Avril Kelly?" she paused, "I like it . . . she looks like a 'Kiki'. Is Kiki short for anything?"

"Kirsten . . . it's short for Kirsten," Gretchen answered.

They sat for a few hours adoring baby Kiki and talking.

"I can't wait to tell Mischa that I'm an auntie . . . I'm mean if that's okay?" Phoebe commented.

"Of course . . . everyone is bound to hear of Kirsten sometime of another, so why not tell Mischa . . . I'm sure she will love Kirsten just like you do," Gretchen assured.

"Oh speaking of Mischa . . . is it okay if she comes down tomorrow after school for a sleep over? Or will we be busy with Kirsten?"

"Of course she can come down honey, that won't be a problem. At what time will you bring her down at?"

"Shortly after a quarter past three."

"That's fine . . . Kathryn gets out of here tonight at ten and it's seven now . . . so I think tomorrow Kathryn might be able to look after Kirsten while you and Mischa do your own thing and hang around the house or the fields. I'll divide my time between you both. Why don't you call Mischa now and tell her and then we can go get some dinner while Katie rests?"

"Sure, okay."

Phoebe went out of the room to the nearest communicator link and called Mischa.

Back in the room Gretchen and Edward began to talk.

"How does it feel to be a grandfather?"

"I'm not sure . . . I feel like Kiki is just my baby daughter but she's not . . . she's Kathryn's baby. I mean, Kirsten looks just like Kathryn did when she was born . . . brown hair, big blue eyes and a presence that could melt any heart. I never thought Kathryn would become a mom at seventeen."

"I know what you mean. Kiki does feel like she is a new member like Phoebe was . . . she feels like our daughter but not our granddaughter. I never thought that something born out of such horrible circumstance could be so beautiful." Gretchen whispered, "I can tell she is going to be something special."

"Mischa! Mischa, Phoebe is on the phone for you!"

"Thanks mom!" Mischa yelled as she ran to answer the phone. "Hey Phoebe!"

"Hey Mischa! Guess what?"

"What?"

"Guess!" Phoebe exclaimed.

"I'm allowed down tomorrow?"

"Yes you are but there is something else!"

Mischa bit her lower lip thinking what Phoebe could have meant, "I don't know, I give up, tell me already!"

"I'm an aunt!" Phoebe exclaimed with a wide grin.

"An aunt! You mean your sister had the baby?"

"Yeah . . . a few hours ago!"

"Why are you only just calling me now . . . just should have told me immediately!"

"I only asked there now about you coming down and mom is ok with it . . . and I only found out about my niece when dad picked me up from school . . .I was just adoring my wee niece for ages!"

"You have a niece," Mischa sighed in jealously while Phoebe merely nodded, "What is her name?"

"Kiki . . . that's short for Kirsten by the way. She is so cute . . . she has auburn hair and my sister's eyes."

"Can I see her when I come down tomorrow? She sounds like a right beauty if your sister is anything to go by!"

"Of course you can . . .Katie gets out of hospital tonight even though it was an emergency c-section but since they patched everything up and Kathryn is fine and so is Kiki, they'll let her out early considering she take it easy."

"You and I both know that your sister will never take it 'easy'."

"Yea that's true but I guess she'll have to learn considering Kirsten's birth by caesarean. Well I'll fill you in on the details about Kiki tomorrow at school and you can finally meet my wee niece after school."

"Sounds great. See you tomorrow Phoebs!"

"See you Mischa!" and with that Phoebe severed the link to her best friend.

Phoebe stood over her niece's crib early the next morning. Kiki was lying peacefully in the crib her mother used when she was a baby. She is so like Katie, it is unbelievable she thought to herself just before her mother poked her head around the corner and whispered, "Phoebe darling! What are you doing in here? You better hurry or you'll be late for school, come on."

Phoebe smiled at her mother and walked out of the room but not before stealing one last glance at Kiki. She picked up her satchel and followed her mother out into the car. "Is it safe to leave Katie alone in the house right now?"

"Don't worry honey. Your father is in the back garden and he'll still be there when I get back after dropping you off at school. Then once I get back, he'll head off for work," Gretchen explained.

"Oh. . . I didn't see daddy out the back."

"I'll make up the spare bedroom for Mischa while you are school and by then Kathryn should be up and about with Kiki. Is that okay honey?"

"Yea, thanks mommy. Mom?"

"Hmm?"

"What about the rest of the family?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean . . . when are they coming to see Kiki?"

"Some may stop by while you are at school and maybe one or two tonight. Aunt Martha is definitely coming, I tried to get to her to come late tomorrow but you know how Aunt Martha is!" Gretchen commented as Phoebe giggled.

"I'll warn Mischa!" she laughed.

Before the two Janeway women knew it they realized they were outside the Meadow's high junior high school in Bloomington. "Have a good day Phoebe honey!" Gretchen said as Phoebe jumped out of the car. Phoebe briskly walked over the lawn and waved back to her mother and smiled. Gretchen smiled and waved back at her young daughter. She started off for home.

Phoebe's short curly hair bounced as she walked towards her group of friends. "Hey guys!" Everyone turned to see her. Phoebe received a hug from one of best friends called Michael and then received a hug from Mischa who wore a big smile on her face.

"So hon, tell me all about Kiki!" she ordered as they made their way to home room.

"Oh my god Mischa, you are going to love Kiki! She looks exactly like Kathryn when she was a baby. She has bluish-grey eyes like Kathryn and light aubruny blond hair like her too. Yesterday, I just stared at her for ages . . . until I realized that she was my niece . . . my niece Mischa! I mean she feels like she's my baby sister but I know she's not my sister. I guess mom and dad feel the same about Kiki . . . that she feels like their baby daughter not their granddaughter. It's amazing how Katie makes things weird!" Phoebe laughed.

"I understand why you could see Kiki as your baby sister and not your niece. But Kathryn undoubtedly would see Kiki has her daughter-" she cut herself short as she opened the door that lead to the home room.

"Hurry girls and take a seat," Mrs. Hunter smiled as she ushered them politely and happily, "right today we are just going to do a bit of circle time. So move your chairs quietly into a circle," and with that she was greeted with a chorus of screeches and the scraps of chair legs on the floor, "I said quietly people!"

When everyone was seated and looking at Mrs. Hunter who was at the top of the circle she began to speak, "Okay, I thought that you might be sick of actual lessons and sick to death of coursework and stuff like that so I thought we could have some fun. How does that sound?"

"Great!" Stuart Clarke replied.

"Glad I have your approval Stuart. Now let's go around the circle starting with Donal and just say something new about yourself or something that happened yesterday or last week or maybe even this morning. Ok? Right, go ahead Donal."

"Well erm, I started to listen to twentieth century and early twenty-first century music last night."

"Really? Wow that's interesting. What are your impressions of the music back then?" Mischa asked.

"It is very different to today's music as it is very diverse, but back then they had different genres called "Rock, pop, country, blues, jazz and R'n'B" to name a few and they all have a different sound," he continued, "I think rock was more to express anger because it was very loud and chaotic whereas jazz is improvisional and pop is . . . well, bouncy and R'n'B is quite mellow and relaxing by certain singers."

"I've never actually listened to music as far back as that but would you be able to give us an example of at least one of them Donal?" Mrs. Hunter asked enthusiastically.

"Yea. I actually have some music with me as I wanted to listen to some during lunch," he stood and rummaged around in this bag until finally he found the chip that stored the music. "Here is a small collection," he announced as he placed the chip in the desk-top computer, "This first track is by an artist called Jojo."

'_I've been waiting all day for ya babe  
So won't cha come and sit and talk to me  
And tell me how we're gonna be together always  
Hope you know that when it's late at night  
I Hold on to my pillow tight  
And think of how you promised me forever  
(I never thought that anyone)  
Could make me feel this way  
(Now that you're here boy all I want)  
Is just a chance to say _

Get Out, (leave) right now,  
It's the end of you and me  
It's too late (now) and I can't wait for you to be gone  
'Cause I know about her (who) and I wonder (why) how I bought all the lies  
You said that you would treat me right but you was just a waste of time (waste of time)'

"Well that's Jojo and this next piece is by a girl called Avril Lavigne."

'_Every now and then we all want something  
Even if there's no way of gettin' it  
If i stomp my feet could that make me  
Be the way around it, could I get myself around it_

_Get me what I want  
Everything that I got  
Get me what I want  
Cause I'm a big shot_

_Don't wanna always have to be so nice  
Don't wanna hear you say well that's just life  
I dry out when I open my mouth  
I make my way around it, make my way around it_'

"And Avril is a sample of rock music while Jojo was more pop and R'n'B based. Most music back then was written about relationships and the break up of those relationships. Some even go as far as having swear words in them but most of them don't," he finished.

"I don't know about the rest of you but I liked those songs. I can definitely relate to the first one by . . . Jojo was it? And I suppose I can relate to Avril Lavigne's song because we all want something even if there is no way of achieving it. Thank for that Donal. Now Phoebe? What interesting happened to you?"

Phoebe looked at Mischa and grinned. "Well, yesterday I became an aunt!" she smiled.

Many of her classmates looked at her in slight confusion while Mrs. Hunter looked at her in contentment. "Well, that is interesting . . . tell us all about it Phoebe!"

"My dad came to pick me up from school yesterday and told me that my sister Kathryn had had her baby earlier that day. We went to see her and I got to see my baby niece for the first time."

"Tell us about her Phoebs!" Jonathan Houghton ushered.

"Well, her full name is Kirsten Avril Kelly Janeway. I actually think Avril is from Avril Lavigne. Anyway, Kiki as we call her is so like my sister it is unbelievable. She has the same auburn hair, the same bluish gray eyes and I'm pretty sure Kiki will develop her personality too. She will be a day old at a quarter to three. Once anybody sees her they instantly fall in love with her as she is so adorable, I should know I completely fell for her. And why shouldn't I? She is my niece. Well, that's my niece. Oh wait, I have a holo-picture of her," she stood and fumbled in her bag and brought out a photo. She sat back down again, "Here is Kirsten. Isn't she cute?" She passed the photo around the circle and many crinkled up their faces when looking at the adorable baby with blue eyes and auburn hair in front of them.

"Oh my gosh Phoebe, you are right. She is just a little gem," Mrs., Hunter cried, "I wish she was my niece."

"Well she's all mine."

"I remember Kathryn when she was in this class, and just by looking at this holo-image I would probably have guessed that Kirsten is the daughter of Kathryn Janeway as she, as you said, looks extraordinarily like your elder sister."

"Sorry to be intrusive Captain but who is this gorgeous creature?" Chakotay asked as he held a photograph of Kiki.

"That's Kiki."

"Kiki?"

"Kirsten."

"Kirsten?" Kathryn nodded at the question, "Is she your sister?"

"My sister?" Kathryn choked in horror.

"Yea, isn't she?" he asked.

"No, remember I have one sister and her name is Phoebe. Remember?"

"Well is she your niece? Or cousin? Or best friend?"

"Nope."

"I'm running out of relations here. I can't think of anything else she could be. I give up."

"Chakotay, you are probably not going to believe this but Kirsten is . . . she's my . . . daughter."

"Oh? You have a daughter?"

"That's what I said."

"How come you never told me?"

"You never asked me if I had any children," she answered.

"That was because I thought you were too young to have children."

So did I she though, "Well, did you never hear about the ensign who was up the duff in the academy about 18 years ago?"

"Well, I don't think there wasn't an ensign or cadet who didn't hear about her, boy did I pity her," he sighed. Kathryn stared at him, "Wait, that was you, that pregnant ensign was you?"

"Yes! What did nobody say, "Hey did you hear about Ensign Janeway, you know that Admiral Janeway's pride and joy – well she's pregnant and she's not dropping out of school."?"

"Yea I heard the rumour but no name ever came with it. I saw her from a distance once and I never thought that it was Ensign Janeway, the one with the blossoming career."

"Well it was. I carried Kirsten to term, gave birth and returned to school as soon as I could."

"What is her full name? . . . I just always need to know people's full names because it helps me get a feeling for them"

"Kirsten Avril Kelly Janeway," she said.

"She is stunning Captain. She looks just like you, auburn hair and your blue eyes . . . are you sure she isn't your clone?"

"No, she's my baby girl."

"What age is she?"

"She's eighteen now." Kathryn had been promoted to Captain and accepted command of the U.S.S Voyager. She was thirty-five years old. Nobody was surprised that she had risen up through the ranks of Starfleet so quickly. She busted her ass to get every promotion and every recommendation. She also worked hard to care for Kirsten.

"So . . . you must have been about seventeen when you had her?" he blurted out without thinking. "I am so sorry that was rude of me, I shouldn't have said that."

"Why? It's true. I had Kirsten when I was seventeen and in my second year at the academy no less . . . I started the academy a year early."

"It must have been hard to tell your parents. I mean to tell them you were pregnant and still in school no less. "

"Actually our family doctor told them." Chakotay looked at her quizzically now not understanding why.

"I hope this doesn't sound rude but couldn't you?"

"When I was seventeen I collapsed during quantum cosmology with Admiral Parker and naturally they were summoned to Starfleet medical where I was still unconscious. My doctor found something there that shouldn't have been so since I was still out he took the liberty to tell mom and dad that I was pregnant and that he found a few other things as well-" Kathryn cut herself off before she went too far, "I'm sorry I shouldn't be talking about this!"

"No, please continue."

"I can't, you wouldn't understand."

"What wouldn't I understand? That you had her out of wed-lock? She was a love child?"

Kathryn cut in angrily, "No she wasn't that . . . Kiki wasn't even a love child . . . she was the result of, of."

"Of what?" Kathryn looked away from him and brought her hand to her mouth stemming the cry that was coming, "Captain . . . Kathryn you can tell me." Kathryn looked around at him after he said her given name.

"I can't!"

"I promised I would be back you up since I am your first officer. Captain you can tell me. I'm here for you!"

"You'd better take a seat." Chakotay did as she suggested while she remained standing. Kathryn waited a few minutes before continuing. "Kiki, my daughter, is the result of . . . of rape."

Chakotay stared her directly in the eyes in disbelief, "See I told you you wouldn't understand," she cried turning away. Chakotay stood and turned her around to face him.

"I understand . . . it just took me by surprise . . . now, do you want to tell me the whole story?" Kathryn gave a small nod.

"It was a week before my seventeenth birthday when I was still sixteen when I was walking through Starfleet academy's campus at night after Ensign Portia Rutherford's party when I felt as if I was being followed . . . so I picked up my pace and started to walk faster . . . then when I thought I was safe . . . two hands grabbed me and pulled me into the bushes off the path . . . he was strong and I kicked him and I think I was able to cut his back but he pinned me down . . . and raped me there and then," by this point several tears had escaped her eyes and fallen down her cheeks. "Then five weeks later I collapsed during class and later told I was pregnant with Kiki . . . I carried her and my parents were very supportive and extremely protective of Kiki and I. And Phoebe was dotting over Kiki all the time, she loved her niece."

Chakotay put a protective arm around her shoulder while the other arm went around his own back to scratch an itch there. His fingernails traced over an old scar that he had received eighteen years ago. The colour in his face flushed away leaving a very pale pallor.

"Captain? What side did you scrab him on?"

"Well . . . it was on my left so it was probably his right. Why?"

"Oh just asking. What did he look like?"

"He was wearing tan trousers with a red sweater. I couldn't tell you what he looked like facially because he wore a mask with eye pieces and a hole for his mouth and nose, but when it shifted he had line just above his left eye. I think he had brown eyes . . . it was after dark so I couldn't exactly get a clear look."

After hearing the description he grew even paler. He withdrew his arm from around her shoulder and stood up. "I'm sorry Captain but I – I just remembered that I had a meeting with – with B'Elanna now and I'm late . . . if you'll excuse me." Kathryn looked at Chakotay quizzically and wondered why he had to leave so abruptly. She continued to stay there for a further ten minutes before raising herself and walking over to her desk and sat down.

"Computer access Kathryn Janeway's personal photographical index authorisation Janeway Theta Gamma 2." A folder containing thumbnails of her family and friends appeared on the screen.


End file.
